Self-Reflection Poem

Please keep in mind this poem has not been edited. It was the ramblings of a broken heart and a frustrated mind. I like it the way it is :)

A Self-Reflection

Since when have I become this frail, immobile thing?
Haven't I grown since leaving my mother's womb?
Haven't my arms and legs grown longer?
My heart larger?
My torso taller?

Hasn't my intellect doubled and tripled itself?
Gone from short stunted selfish noises to words?
From words to conversations?
From conversations to art?

Haven't I learned to say more than hello and goodbye?
To truly know and truly care for those I interact with?
Learned to share?
Learned to empathize?
Learned to love?

And yet here I sit uttering selfish grunts.
A spitting image of my former self.
A de-evolition of the mind.

Is it for attention? For sympathy?
Or is it a hand reaching out into the blackness
A retrogradation to a infintile stage where my needs aren't being met and I need to grunt and groan in selfish ways to communicate them.

I am more than an infintile being. I have self awareness, clothing food and shelter.
I have friendships, safety, and love.
I have the heart and the capacity to reach other to help others and care for those around me.

Then why these clipped short shouts?
Why do I cry?
Why do I perseverate on myself at the sake of losing everything?

It is a choice to grow
To rise
To stand.

It is a choice to love
To empathize
To communicate.

A choice to put yourself last
To think of others first.
To serve.

I choose You.

- Erica

"Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow. 'Come now, let us reason together,' says the LORD" Isaiah 1:17-18